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The Best of /R/Relationship_Advice

The Best of /R/Relationship_Advice

Out of all the websites on this wild wonderful internet of ours, Reddit is definitely one of our favorites. Billed as “the front page of the internet,” we’ve found over the last few years that it really is a careful amalgamation of the best—and worst—things the Information Superhighway has to offer. You’ll find Reddit communities (called “subreddits” or “subs”) about damn near anything, from old school photographs, to men’s style, cooking, cute dog gifs, beautiful architecture, news and current events, every obscure genre of music ever invented and even porn. It is, far and away, the most diverse and curated web forum out there, and we could probably spend hours a day there if we could—which we don't, because we can't and we'd never spend hours a day in our offices meandering through pointless internet websites. *cough cough*

Anyway, of all the wild and ridiculous subreddits out there—/r/insanepeopleoffacebook/r/choosingbeggars/r/trashy included—our absolute favorite has to be /r/relationship_advice. It is exactly what it sounds like. People—complete strangers—make posts soliciting advice from other highly unqualified strangers on the internet, from everything like cheating spouses and discovered text messages, to infidelity, sexuality confusion, breakup advice and everything in between.

It is a veritable gold mine of “Oh my god,” “What the fuck?” and “No no no no no” all wrapped up into one single feed. It’s glorious. There are real whoppers on there daily, but if you’re really trying to get a taste of all the ridiculousness /r/relationship_advice has to offer, here are 5 of our top favorite threads, complete with our uninhibited commentary:

“Wife told me she wanted to experiment, I obliged, then she attempted to eat my feces.”

There is nothing funny about the stale sex life that can come with marriage and a couple kids. That is, until you read this incredible post from user /u/ThrowawayHusbandAcct. It stars off fairly regular: His wife of three years approaches him about wanting to try new things in the bedroom to “spice up” their waning sex lives. Totally fair. Her first request is “pegging.” Now, for the sexually sheltered among you, we’ll explain pegging simply: A woman puts on a strap on and proceeds to have anal sex with you, taking up the role of male in traditional male-female love making.

The original poster (OP) agrees, like the trooper and down-ass husband he is. The first time they do it, things go surprisingly well, and he even enjoys himself. Our stance on sex is and always will be: “Do what feels good; no judgments.”

But the second weekend, she approaches him about doing it again. Halfway through their second pegging session… Well, we see no need to get into the gritty details, but at one point, his wife grabs him by the hair and says, “I want your shit.”

He then goes into excruciating detail about agreeing to satisfy his wife’s “deepest, darkest kink” and how watching his wife try to catch his feces in her mouth completely scarred him. He even goes on to say his wife has seen the post, and he doesn’t know what to do because they have plans to go to the zoo with another family that day and he won’t be able to avoid her any longer.

What a time to be alive.

Full thread

“[31M] Husband cheated on [27F] me with his fit and skinny gym friend”

This one is pretty sad, but does have a silver lining, so stay with us.

The truth is, marriage isn’t always easy. In fact, the best ones never are. And even though you’re married to someone you love, it doesn’t mean two people don’t change emotionally, psychologically and even physically as the years go by.

OP’s husband started going to the gym and recently became very fit. While at the gym, he made a new “gym friend” who just so happens to be a woman, and also just so happens to be “beautiful.” According to OP, this woman was beautiful, thin and everything she (OP) is not.

Well, OP’s husband’s relationship with this woman became so close that he eventually brought her to their house for dinner with his wife. One day, OP comes home from work early and sees a pair of women’s sneakers in her garage, only to discover her husband in bed with his fit beautiful “gym friend.”

It’s a bummer. Absolutely.

However, OP goes on to post updates about how supportive and loving people in the comments have been, and how the community has helped her figure out how to process everything she’s going through. Infidelity is a terrible thing that, unfortunately, happens in a lot of monogamous relationships and marriages. Most of us have been there.

Luckily, Reddit provided this woman a network of support and advice ranging from how to leave her husband, how to possibly repair her marriage, how to improve her own self-confidence, etc. Although the silver lining is more like a sliver of light in a very tumultuous hurricane of trash, it’s heartwarming to see a community of complete strangers come together to show their support.

Full thread

“My (23/m) girlfriend??? (24/f) got on a rapper’s tour bus last night after his show.”

Here comes another doozy. Young love is tough to control at times, and young people—especially in this day and age—have issues communicating boundaries.

To make a long story short, a couple (Who’ve been dating for three years) go to a concert to see their favorite rapper perform—in completely separate groups of friends. The guy (OP) follows his girlfriend’s group’s hijinks on Snapchat, even after he leaves the show early to drive two of his friends home. Standard nice-guy stuff.

At one point, he sees one of the girls posting about backstage passes. The girl’s story keeps getting updated with more and more wild and reckless behavior. There’re three-way makeout sessions, alcohol baths, twerking and blunts galore. The Snapchat stories eventually stop and OP’s girlfriend never so much as sends him a text message.

OP never divulges who the rapper was (We’re hoping it was Tekashi 6ix9ine lolol),  but does tell us what she confessed to doing on that bus (and it’s not pretty). But he also posts an update from his sweet, sweet breakup with her.

And in true /r/relationship_advice fashion, he even gets some stellar breakup advice from fellow user /u/breakupconnoisseur, who really is a breakup connoisseur:

“Text her that you guys need to talk at her place.* Put all her things at your place in a bag and take them to her. In person, tell her that you can’t trust her anymore and that in light of what happened there’s no salvaging the relationship, because trust is an essential element of any healthy relationship. If she tries to argue, tell her you already made up your mind. Grab whatever things are yours that you want to keep and peace out.

Congrats on moving on. She did a shitty thing to you.

*breaking up at her place means you won’t have to kick her out if she insists on staying together and won’t leave after you drop the bomb.”

That's as good a breakup pro-tip as you're going to get, and one that we can all take to heart. God, we love Reddit.

Full thread

“UPDATE 2: I [31M] found out my fiancé cheated during her [30F] bachelorette party, planning on leaving”

This one is actually an update thread, but you can read the original post here. OP finds out that his wife not only fellated a stripper at her bachelorette party, but even went home and had sex with another man. Oof. Pretty rough stuff.

This update comes after the man confronts his now ex-fiancé about finding Facebook and text messages discussing her infidelity, and is essentially an entire post dedicated to her groveling.

Her whole family and circle of friends get in on the action, texting OP and trying to convince him to stay and work it out with her. She claims she was pressured into behaving that way because of her friends and sister, and everyone tries to pressure him into staying. Except her father, who graciously calls him and basically says, “I can’t believe my daughter would do something so terrible. You’re an exceptional man, I understand if you want nothing to do with her and you’re always welcome in our lives.”

The wonderful part of the story is OP’s circle of friends really come to his rescue. His business partner hires someone to take care of the business and books them a month-long vacation. People in the comments were exceptionally kind and supportive, reminding him over and over about the massive bullet he just dodged.

A+ stuff all around—except for his terrible fiancé.

Full thread

“My friends started flirting with my mom “as a game” and now she’s flirting with them too.”

One of the most appealing aspects of Reddit is that it calls out to the most depraved areas of our minds and obliges their every wish. We didn’t know we wanted to read this thread like a true-life Mexican telenovela (OP is a 16-year-old kid from Mexico), but once it got rolling, we were hooked.

This thread technically started in /r/teenagers, and then made its way to /r/relationship_advice once things got serious[ly fucked up].

Anyway, it begins when OP’s friends start a “game” with his mother; commenting on her nice outfits, talking about how attractive her body is, etc. The mother gradually warms up to their flirting and eventually begins reciprocating.

OP posts an update a month later, announcing that he caught three of his friends having sex with his mom. OP does the appropriate thing and tells his dad, who kicks her out of the house. She then goes to live with one of the boys she was caught having sex with and his father, who agrees to let her stay with them on the condition that she have sex with both of them.

OP eventually goes back to school where his classmates are mostly supportive. That is, until he discovers there are videos—some older, some newer—of his mother with the his now ex-friends and additional classmates.

Now, some of you may be asking a pretty fair question: “Why the hell isn’t this woman in jail?” Well, as it happens, in Mexico, the age of consent is sixteen. Yikes.

Anyway, a month later, OP makes another update informing everyone that parents of two of the boys involved forced their children to write letters saying they never consented to sex with OP’s mother, which makes her legally liable.

In another update, posted just last night (at the time this post is being written), OP says that his mother was found guilty of her crime and sent to jail, but then paid to get herself out. OP says that once she was out, his mother contacted him to apologize and invited him over for dinner. While in the shower, OP goes through her phone and finds out that she’s been contacting his friends and classmates again to invite them over to help her “celebrate” her freedom from jail.

We kid you not. What a wild and terrible ride.

Full thread