Medically reviewed by Katelyn Hagerty, FNP
Written by Our Editorial Team
Last updated 6/15/2022
Prostate massages are a fairly unexplored part of sexuality for most men. Society isn’t exactly a judgment-free space, and the stigma associated with prostate pleasure can make it feel wrong to explore the subject, learn more about the tools and understand how to use a prostate massager. And we think that’s bullshit.
Sex is supposed to be fun, and when you get a bunch of (usually hypocritical) puritans all up in your business telling you what you can put where, just remember that they’re the creepy ones.
Whether you’ve used a prostate massager before, want to add a toy to something that has been a manual exercise in the past or are a total newbie, maybe exploring a personal taboo, this is an informative and judgment-free zone. Welcome.
We’ve got a lot of information to share with you about these toys and techniques associated with prostate massage, but before we get into the instruction manual portion of the conversation, let’s start with the obvious stuff: what is a prostate massage?
Prostate massages are a way to achieve a prostate orgasm, which is thought to be different from a penile orgasm in a few ways. First, and most obviously, the location of stimulation is different (i.e. not your dick). More importantly, however, prostate orgasms are usually a more intense stimulation experience and thought to involve more muscles in the final contractions. A penile orgasm typically involves four to eight muscles, while prostate stimulation involves a dozen.
Many resources compare the prostate massage and its resulting orgasm to the G-spot orgasm in women, which is appropriate because that too was a neglected topic in the medical community for many years. Some experts call the prostate the male G-spot, or the P-spot, but that’s hardly an agreed-upon scientific fact.
Can a prostate massage work for impotence? There has been little in the way of data gathered about the prostate-induced orgasm. There’s actually so little information that even expert medical texts and reviews tend to point to the anecdotal evidence provided by less medically sound sources — the stuff you don’t normally see us quoting.
These popular blogs and websites are also the best available resources for product reviews and advice on prostate massage best practices, and so it’s here that we’re mostly forced to turn for our own information.
What we can tell you is that expert resources generally agree that while prostate orgasms may be more satisfying than penile orgams for some people, they also tend to take more time and practice to achieve. We’re all for the good things in life requiring time and effort — and this might be lighter on the “effort” side of things, and heavier on the “time” side.
So now that you have some information on the idea of a prostate massage, what’s a prostate massager? Well, in theory anything that massages your prostate can be a prostate massager (including your finger or someone else’s).
That being said, however, “prostate massagers” typically refer to a large group of tools and toys designed specifically for the purpose of massaging your prostate and bringing some extra stimulation to your sexual activities.
A prostate stimulator is different than a butt plug, which may also be enjoyable as a sexual experience, but does not interact with your prostate.
These devices might take time to insert. You’ll need to wait for your muscles to relax, rather than trying to force a toy into yourself. Once it’s inside, the next task is finding the right places to stimulate yourself. The prostate gland is a fleshy bulb several inches inside the anal canal, on the other side of the anal wall, sort of behind your bladder. Finding that spot is your goal.
These tools are designed to stimulate prostate glands in one of several ways. They may have several vibration modes, or they may manually create internal stimulation by being moved around. A water-based lube will help with entry and movement.
The science of the safety and efficacy of prostate massage for medical purposes isn’t well-explored. Twenty years ago, scientific reviews pointed to a relatively small amount of anecdotal evidence, biased opinions and small-sized studies before essentially shrugging their shoulders on the value of prostatic massage for treating conditions like chronic prostatitis, an inflammation of the prostate.
For medical purposes, the “value” of prostatic massage is generally not well-agreed upon — many experts don’t recommend the procedure for most conditions, like prostatitis.
But it’s safe to say that while there isn’t medical data on long-term dangers of using anal toys for prostate stimulation, plenty of men do so safely and without apparent side effects.
Should you try a prostate massager? Well, that’s up to you — in part because it will be up in you.
Prostate stimulation might very well be fun for everyone, but that doesn’t mean everyone should have to try it. What we’re talking about here is your personal preference, and your relative comfort level with your own body and this particular type of stimulation.
Are you intrigued by this walnut-sized gland? Interested in your anal region? Excited by the idea of an intense orgasm? Try it, and don’t let anyone make you feel negatively about the curiosity or the experience. It’s your ass, it’s your prostate — it’s no one else’s business.
On the other hand, if you’re getting pressure from a partner to try something new and this doesn’t spark joy, maybe you should look elsewhere for a new activity — or a new partner if they won’t let up.
If you’re on the fence or not terribly thrilled about the idea, consider asking yourself why you’re even considering something that doesn’t sound up your alley (or your butt). Is it to spice things up? To bring some excitement back to the bedroom?
If you’re missing that spark, consider talking to a mental health professional about those concerns. We’re not going to lecture you on erectile dysfunction and other forms of sexual dysfunction, but things in the bedroom might be a little uimpressive right now if you’re dealing with psychological causes of ED (or physical ones for that matter).
If things aren’t working the way they used to, consider talking to a health care provider about medications like Cialis® (tadalafil) and Viagra® (sildenafil). These phosphodiesterase type 5 (PDE5) inhibitors can prevent you from going soft when it’s really inopportune.
Medication, along with certain types of therapy like cognitive behavioral therapy, might be the tools you need to get your status back to active.
You might also want to look at lifestyle factors like alcohol, tobacco and drug use, as well as your diet and exercise. Sexual dysfunction doesn’t have to be the result of any one thing, but these are the common sources of problems.
Using a prostate massager isn’t dangerous when done carefully and gently, with time for muscles to relax. Over time, it may even provide some of the most exciting sexual experiences of your life. But bringing one into your bedroom is your own choice.
If you’re ready to try something new, consider our selection of toys — Hims offers plenty of ways to spice up your intimacy with safe and fun-to-use products.