Want to blow your lady’s mind? Offer to bring a vibrator into bed.
Partnered vibrator use isn’t as common as it could be, with only half of guys ever using a vibrator and only 10% using one in the last month. These numbers are unfortunate, considering vibrator use is linked to better erectile function, intercourse satisfaction, orgasmic function, and sexual desire in men and better desire, arousal, lubrication, and orgasm in women.
Bottom line: everyone wins when the vibrator comes to play!
Few men bring up the topic, probably because of the many misconceptions floating around out there. It’s a sign our sex life is suffering! She’ll prefer it to my penis! It’ll make things awkward!
It’s time we clear up the confusion surrounding vibrators.
Men are sadly
Vibrators rock women’s worlds as they:
Vibrators are like a shortcut to pleasure for
So you may be wondering - if vibrators are so great, why hasn’t she brought up using it together yet?
Excellent question.
Maybe she’s worried you’ll interpret her request as a sign your current sexual performance isn’t cutting it (even though that’s far from the truth). Maybe she’s afraid you’ll feel insecure of your own performance after (even though there’s no reason to). Maybe she thinks you’ll be uncomfortable with the idea, but agree because you’d feel guilty saying no.
None of these scenarios lead to enjoyable vibrator use, so she may just sigh and keep her vibrator in her drawer for solo use.
The first time my partner suggested using one, my jaw dropped. Same with the second man...and the third...you get the idea. Each time it blows my mind in the best possible way.
Few men enthusiastically suggest it, but when they do here’s what women hear:
Talking about your sex life can be a somewhat delicate topic, even when all you want is to improve it for her. Intentionality about how you start the conversation can help smooth over
One natural window is during any conversation about trying new things in bed. Casually mention you know many women own vibrators and you’d be open to incorporating it into your time together.
Or you can bring it up out of the blue but
Or you can suggest it as a possible gift, something like "I’ve been brainstorming what to get you for your birthday, would you ever want a vibrator that we can bring into the bedroom together?"
However you bring it up, it’s important to stress you are enthusiastic about trying it. If you seem reluctant or like you are offering just to be nice, it instantly becomes less appealing.
Don’t worry, these little devices are incredibly
A few notes before you start:
Once she is warmed up, do your thing with your trusty new toy. Vibrators can be used in so many ways, but
As always when you try something new in bed, it’s good to debrief after. Would you both try it again? Should something have gone
It may take a time or two before using a vibrator feels second nature. It’s a learning process, so be sure to cut yourself some slack. You’ve already blown her mind with your willingness to use it in bed. Anything else is icing on the cake for you both.
This article is for informational purposes only and does not constitute medical advice. The information contained herein is not a substitute for and should never be relied upon for professional medical advice. Always talk to your doctor about the risks and benefits of any treatment.